Journaling All The Days of My Life!

May 4, 2009 1:06am cst

At this very moment I’m sitting in the living room of the apartment I just moved in almost two months ago. I’m laid back on my couch working and typing on what you are currently reading. I work as an Independent Contractor from home which is the best business ever. I’ve been working solely from home for the past 7 ½ months.

I currently reside in Texas where I moved back in November 2008 at the request of a friend. Before coming to Texas, my children and I had moved to Douglasville, Georgia in October 2008 where we stayed with a good friend of mine named April for about three weeks. The reason for the move was change. I needed a change of environment, to get away from the place I had grew up. My children were and were not excited about the move being that this would be around the 6th time we’d moved there. I have this need to be alone; alone with just me and my children to form some type of closeness. It seems as if I’m always aggravated, stressed, unmotivated, angry and depressed all the time when I’m in my hometown.

I didn’t move for the very first time until September 1999. I have a friend who lived in Marietta, Georgia so I moved there. I had this feeling inside me of just needing to get away. I was 23 years old with two kids (1yr old daughter and 5yr old son). I remember confiding in my friend about how I was feeling and she offered me a place to stay when I got there. I remember not wanting anyone to know I was leaving so I called my cousin Raub and asked him to take me to the bus station to purchase tickets. My bus didn’t leave for a few days or so and in that time Raub must’ve told someone in the family because my mom called asking me questions about the move.

My mother raised me and she’s always been a part of my life but we weren’t as close as I would’ve liked. No, we didn’t argue and fall out but I didn’t confide in my mother much. To be honest, I didn’t really talk to any of my family about my personal issues that much. I talk to my mother more now in the past year or so than I have-ever.

When my mother found out that I was leaving she called me. She told me that going to Georgia was not a good idea but if that’s what I was going to do then she would take me because the kids didn’t need to ride on the bus for a long period of time. I agreed to let her take me and so that was money lost on the tickets. My mother had rented a van the day before we left because not only was she taking me and the kids but my step-father, my sister Chops, her boyfriend Jaun (deceased now) and her homegirl Cuirah came along. This was one of the happiest days of my life.I had never actually lived anywhere else but Oklahoma (born & raised) except for the time I spent in bootcamp while in the Army in 1995-1996. This was something new to me and I was excited. I remember looking at my kids thinking, “We’re about to have the best life ever.”