Journaling All The Days of My Life: Baby Daddy Drama

Continuation from yesterday, May 4, 2009 (1:36pm cst)…. The fact that Gavin had showed up meant a lot to me. He looked over at me lying in the bed in pain.
“Shashi, you alright?” he asked.
“Yea…Ready for the baby to come.”

Karen was standing next to my bed and fixed my covers, pulling them closer to my face. He had to go behind her pulling the covers down a little joking with Karen, “Dang, don’t smother her.” They both fell out laughing. It was funny to me also but I was in pain and wasn’t in the mood for laughs.

The nurses continued to come in and out checking on me and the baby. I finally dilated enough to where they could give me an epidural. In order to get it I had to be really still because they had to insert a needle into my spine. Once this was done the pain decreased a whole lot. Time was really moving by and now I was beginning to feel like I had to push. When the nurse came back into the room she checked me and said, “She’s ready. Only two people can be in the room when she delivers.”

Gavin stayed beside me holding my hand the whole time. My mother was there giving her support. I don’t think my grandmother ever left the room either. During delivery I wasn’t pushing good enough to assist the baby. The doctor said she needed two people to push both of my legs up so that my knees were up by my face. Gavin grabbed one leg and a nurse grabbed the other. Then the doctor said, “Okay…when I count to three I need you to push hard like your constipated.

One…two…three…push. I began pushing, almost like I was pushing my insides out. The doctor kept saying that I was doing a good job and the baby was coming out. I kept following her instructions on when to push and finally I hear Gavin say, “Shashi, the head is out. C’mon Shashi, you almost there.”

Even though he didn’t want to come at first, I could see the excitement in his face. He had mentioned that he didn’t want to see me in pain. But to me it was very important for him to be there for the birth of our son. Finally, I heard the doctor say give one more strong push. When I did, I could hear my child’s voice and the voice of the doctor saying, “It’s a boy!” I was excited but at the same time exhausted. Gavin was standing there happier than ever. They asked if I wanted to hold my son but I just couldn’t….”Give him to his dad,” I said. My friend Karen had sent for me something to eat; I was starving. Everyone was coming in to see him. I was busy stuffing my face. My mom was saying how funny looking he was and his dad was already standing up for his son saying how handsome he was and how he looked just like him.

I was only in the hospital about 24-48 hours after his birth. The nurse came in and asked what we were going to name him. I said, “Emojieon D’Von.” I had this name planned stuck in my head during my entire pregnancy. Gavin then said, “Nah…his name is going to be D’Wahn after my nephew.” I was upset because I wanted my son to have a unique name. “Why not Emojieon? I told you I want to name him that,” I replied. “C’mon Shashi, I want to name him after my nephew who died when he was one,” he said looking me right in the eyes. So of course I went along with the name he said.

Right before leaving the hospital I got a phone call from my cousin Synder saying that someone was on the phone and was it okay for her to three-way them in. I told her it was cool because no one was in the room with me.

“Hey Shala!”
“Hey Thyler,” I said in a sorta shocked way.
“So you had the baby huh?”
“Yep, a lil’ boy,” I answered.
“What’s his name?” he asked.
“D’Wahn.”
“Can I come up and see him?”
I took a deep breath, “Not right now because I’m about to be discharged. How about I call you when I get home?”
“Don’t forget. I want to see him,” he said.

As soon as Synder cleared her other line I told her that I wasn’t calling him. I asked if she knew how he knew I had my baby. I reminded her that I told him I was not pregnant by him so why was he calling. No one knew about me messing with him but her and his best friend. Not that I minded him calling it was just that I knew he must’ve still had some thought in his head about this baby but why after I told him I was pregnant by Gavin. He hadn’t contacted me since I was three months and I hadn’t contacted him either so why now.

I got home and was immediately overwhelmed by all the crying and diaper changing. I was just seventeen years old in the eleventh grade trying to raise a kid. My mom went to work the next morning so I had to deal with being a new mother on my own during the day.

That evening I had some visitors drop by the house. When I noticed the car pulling up in front of the house and saw who’d got out of it, I was in shock. I didn’t even have time to tell my mother about the phone call. I grabbed my baby and hid in the front room closet and told my mom to say I wasn’t home. My mother looked at me with this confused look on her face. I closed the closet door enough to where they couldn’t see me but I could see them. There was a knock at the door. My mom opened it still looking confused. “Hello,” she said when she opened the door to greet them.

“Is Shala in?”
“No she’s not…she’s with my mother. Can I tell her who came by?”
“I’m Thyler…her son’s father,” he replied.
“Oh, okay. I’ll tell her that you came by.”
“Thank you ma’am. This is my mother Darian and my uncle. May we leave these bags with you? We bought some things for the baby. “
“Sure, I’m sure Shala will be home within the next couple of hours. Does she have a number to reach you?”
“Yes ma’am,” he replied.

Thyler placed the bags on the living room floor by the door and they left. Before I could get out of the closet my mom was on the phone calling my aunt. “Who was that?” she asked looking at me still confused. I began telling her that he was a guy I had sex with once and someone had him thinking I was pregnant by him. I explained how I ran into his best friend when I was three months pregnant and I let him know that I was pregnant by Gavin and he didn’t believe me. I told her that no one knew about him and it was a one time thing. My mom started questioning me, “Well, do you know who D’Wahn’s dad is? Why didn’t you ever say anything? Girl…..” she continued on.

My aunt rushed over to the house in no time. She had a lot to say. They asked me so many questions. I was just sitting there on my bed listening. When they gave me enough time to speak I replied, “I know who his daddy is. It’s Gavin and no I’m not confused. He looks just like him.” My mom stated, “Whoever is taking care of the baby is the father. Any man can be a daddy.”

They never let down on me. I was sitting thinking of what I should do or say. I didn’t need this in my life at this time. I wasn’t ashamed or confused because I knew that Gavin was the father of D’Wahn. The only thing that was so hard was explaining the situation of me having a one night stand.

That next day Thyler, his mom, brother and uncle showed up at my house. As soon as they came into the house, I introduced my mom to Thyler again and he introduced my mom and I to his family. This would be the first time that I had met anyone in his family. I told them to hold still why I went to get D’Wahn.

As I walked to the back room to get him I began thinking why was I letting them see my son when he wasn’t even his dad. All kind of questions started going through my mind and then I thought, “As soon as they see him, they’ll know that Thyler is not his dad and I won’t have to deal with the situation.”

When I walked back into the living room he was standing anxious to see what D’Wahn looked like. I came over to him and placed him into his arms and said, “This is D’Wahn.” Thyler pulled D’Wahn close to him and said, “Look momma, look at my son.” At that moment I was amazed that he was just starring at him with this proud father look. His mom replied, “Ewwww, he do look just like you Thyler.” His uncle agreed and they were all smiling. He sat down on the couch talking to D’Wahn, rubbing his little hand and pulling the blanket back to see how long he was. I looked over at my mom so confused for the very first time about this entire situation. This could not be happening. I hadn’t seen this guy in nine months except for one time when I made clear that I was not pregnant by him. Why would his homeboy tell him I was pregnant by him when it wasn’t the truth. I have to admit though he was still looking good as ever.