"Crazy"

I don't know we do some of the craziest things in relationships, but we do. Here is my newest poem that I wrote. I hope u like it:


This is crazy and I don't understand it. How can you be so in love one day and then the next just call it quits. It makes me sick. Sick so much that I don't want anything to do with it. Sick so much that I can't even ignore it. My stomach muscles tighten from the thought of just who it is. This thing you do is just crazy. Should I say out of your mind, kinda trifflin' a bit or just plain out crazy. Is it just the easy way out, something that's painless or is it just lazy. Just yesterday I was your baby. This thing you do makes me hate. I never wanted to feel like this. My lips seem to feel like they've never been kissed and my body…oh my body it's just lying there…unspoken for…motionless…crying out…unsafe. In such a rage, my love feels like calling this rape. Yes rape...because you took from me. Took my comfort, violated my trust, betrayed my feelings and now justice is a must. This thing you do is so uncalled for. It scares me. It tears me and it leaves me on edge. Where are my choices? You literally took from my decisions, no stated facts, straight lies deterring their voices, it's uncalled for. Do you not get it? It is crazy. The strength to get up and leave is right there but you ignore it and you beg me to understand but I can't. Because I do understand…I left you. It may of just been the right thing to do and the right time. You see my love is not blind and I see through the heartless, painful, sickening things you do. But you tell me that your love is like no other and the two of you is out of convience and you're not thinking of her, just a way out but I don't believe it.

copyright.2009.Leukemiona Daniels

Dead Beat Baby Mama!

So I'ma dead beat ass nigga, then wut that make you. Oh, cause my kids live with you that make it right to do the things you do. I mean, you stay out all night long and leave my eight year old daughter to watch the kids. You wonna introduce them to this wack ass nigga when you don't even know who he is. Every nigga you meet is now their new daddy. I can't believe you had the nerves to even call me a phukin' dead beat. Yo' hair done but what about theirs? You all dressed up but don't give a damn what they wear. Wonna trip out on me and say you don't want yo' kids around my ol' lady. Too scared they'll see what a real woman is and realize that mama ain't really been wut mama should be lately. I mean you always wonna come down on a brutha, I mean I pay my child support and I do what I can. You want to come down on me about ever lil' thing, don't ask but demand but I ain't yo' man. My responsibility is to take care of my kids. The only thing that I'm concerned about is their well-being and making sure they have a cool spot to live. If I was a dead beat ass nigga I'd been and called DHS on yo' ass. If I was that nigga I'd been and distanced myself from yo' trifflin' ass. I mean you always wonna come down on me and make sure the lights not shining on you. Some nigga's can be dead beat but there are some dead beat ass baby mama's too.

copyright.2009.Leukemiona Daniels

Family vs. the Enemy

Such a shame and so hard for one to believe. The pain one feels from their own family vs. the pain from the enemy. I mean they say blood is thicker than water but sometimes you can't trust your own mother or father. A lot of people become discouraged, mislead and neglected at the hands of those closest to them. Most of them rather see you sink than motivate you to swim. Family is suppose to be those you can turn to in your time of need, those who comfort you, wants what's best for you and push you to succeed. But it don't seem like it cause sometimes it seems as they are against you. As much as we hate to admit it; it's the enemies hatred that sometimes uplift you. Family sometimes worry that you'll do more and become more when that should be their vision for you. Most times it can be jealously at the root of their actions if they would go ahead and speak the truth. It's hard to understand why when embarrased in their arms, their hug just seems to distract you. And when you stand up for what you believe in that they're the only one's not there to back you. But the enemy is constantly by your side showing the world that you're worth talking about. All up in your business, basically saying, "YOU'RE THE SHYT" out loud. It may be hard to understand why family treat you worst than the enemy. But let that be the reason you S-U-C-C-E-E-D!

copyright.2009.Leukemiona Daniels

"Secret"

There's a truth behind every lie. A meaning behind every word. Every day I hold myself accountable for the possibility of what my son might think as a result of the name I gave him, from all the foul talk that he's heard. But... no one really knows the thoughts that I have and the real meaning behind the name. You see for the past thirteen years I've been filled with guilt, mind combining words to make right of this but... still I feel so ashame and it's only me to blame. It's my duty to make known the truth but sometimes the truth don't always set you free. I mean it gets the heaviness off your heart and eases the pain you feel but keeping it real...it may not exactly stop the heartache and the tears, you see... they will still run and people will still talk and I may possibly lose a son and life then won't even matter and the truth will just be a word that ain't so right afta' and just like truth reveals...it also causes a woman to be battered. And sometimes a lie ain't so bad and is better kept that way. I mean truthfully how can a lie be called a lie if no one knows, so then it's really a secret and it feels as if the only way to go. I mean you can only tell a lie if when you speak the truth ain't being told so I'm actually set free. But what my secret does...it scares me and my mother, you see she knows but refuses to come right out and say and tell me I told you so…so she says nothing. But I beg her with my eyes and ask her with my actions and plead to her with my silence so that I'm not the one who has to tell him the truth. I want to pray but I can't. I don't know what to say when I get on my knees. I, I'm ashamed of what the Lord may say to me. I try to interlock my fingers but my knuckles began to hurt and I sometimes open my mouth but silence become my words and I go back to my secret… feeling it'll be better off if I keep it. And when the time is right I'm sure it'll find me but right now my secret you see she wines and dines me and tell me it's better this way. So my secret she'll stay.

copyright.2009.Leukemiona Daniels