A Mother's Message, Freida Block

On Saturday morning I was laying there and God came and paid me a visit.

He sat in the chair right next to my bed, put his hand on my head and said to me, “Child listen.”

Boi, you should’ve seen the smile that was placed on my face because I knew he came baring good news.

I’m sure to you to you kids it seems like a terrible dream but you must understand the things God do.

“Freida,” he said, “I want you to rest. I come to take your pain as you sleep. I know it may be hard, especially leaving your children but leave their hurt and healing to me.

I looked over and said, “God I’m nervous. I’m a fighter ya’ see, so it’s hard for me to just let go. I got a lil’ more fight. I can make it through the night. I’m not sure if I can really do this, so….”

“Freida listen,” he replied, “I came to you giving no option, you’ve done all that I needed you to. I know your time didn’t seem long and you have to leave your children to come home, but trust me I’ll see get your children thru.”

I knew he had needed me so I did as he said and told my i luv you’s and good-byes through my heart. And yes this is hard but trust I’m not very far and though you can’t physically look me in my face. The love that we share will always be there, right there in that same exact place.

Keisha, April, Stink, Ernest…Shanae, as I look down I see the pain in your eyes, the hurt in your hearts and questions. God blessed me with such a long life, He loves me…so Him bringing me home should go without guessing. I can say that because I know now. And ya’ll, I need for you to be strong now. Though we can’t talk on the phone now. Babies, I’m happy, I’m finally home now. There is nothing like a mother’s love and I am thankful to have been able to give that to you. I am only a few words away, no matter how many tears you go through. I know this was all so sudden and I wish I could turn back the hands of time. As your mother and as God has already confirmed…my children the pain will heal with time. I love you guys and that you should always remember and my face you can in the clouds. When you hear the thunder roaring outside your window, that’s only momma screaming, “I love you” real loud.

-Though death brings distance, our hearts keep us close!

Love
-Mom!

(Written by, Leukemiona “Shala” Daniels 2010)

D Otha Woman

U may not like me and true enuff u don’t have to. But the thing is, i’m phukn the same nicca as u. let’s give it up to my boyfriend, ur husband. U wanna call me stupid cuz i don’t mind being seen er’ now & then, but that’s okay. He ain’t the only nicca i’m phukn so he can’t stay anyway. I understand that u think i have low-self esteem and that i’m only wit him cuz i can’t get a man but wut u fail to realize is both of our feet are planted where i stand. U wanna know why would i lay wit a man who has to go home to his wife. Well why would u lay wit a man who u know was phukn me juss last night. U wanna know how i can sit back and act so unconcerned. Why would u accept his cheatin’ ways, i guess u yo’self juss ain’t learned. U wanna know why i put my lips where his dick is when i see ‘em. The same way i open my legs & he put his lips in between ‘em and then on yo’ lips when he get home…oh, but that ain’t wrong. U tell yo friends how good he is and wut things he buy for u. when me & my girls sit around, we have the same conversation too. U may be his wife but his family knows me juss like they know u. U aint the only one in the passenger seat when he’s droppin’ ya’ll kids off at skool. How rude? I know his social security number, certain things about his childhood, his sister calls me sister & me his mama chop it up like er’ day. But u keep tellin’ yoself, he don’t luv her…he can’t. but i miss when he’s gone juss like u. i hug him when he’s home juss like u. i luv him paying my bills juss like u. i keep hoping he’ll finally be still juss like u. i get mad when i find out about another luvr juss like u. he tells me he doesn’t luv ya’ juss like wit u. he spends time wit me & my kids juss like wit u. really the only thing is different is that we neva said, i do. I know u really don’t like me & u wish i would go on my way. But er’ time i try to, the man u say who don’t luv me…keeps begging me to stay.

Copywritten.Leukemiona Daniels.2010

“My Talk With God”

Born two months early. Delivered from a dry birth. Fighting for life at 3lbs 5 ounces. God spoke, “This breath, you’re worth.” (Blowing) “Welcome to my world. Walk with me & talk with me.”

11:48 am, Feb. 23rd, 1977 I get here. Crying in fear but awakened. See, God knew I was no mistake and…he knew my potential. He giggles, “Poetry you resemble. Words placed on the center of your tongue. The truth formed in the center of your eyes. A brain built in the rawest form. Your presence is one they’ll remember for life.”

Then he told me, “Leukemiona, there’s only one you. No other. I will now place you in the hands of your mother for guidance. If ever you’re in need, place the ground up under your knees and talk to me. I am the wisest. Remember that life is a continued journey. There will be many forks in the road, lots of decisions to be made. You will often cry and sometimes it may seem as you’re in constant pain. You’ll sometimes doubt me and you will often ask me why. You’ll want what you want when you want it & wonder why the slow reply. Just know that I am always here and you will never have to worry. Whenever the water seems to get too deep. I will always be here to carry…you. Remember that I am the truth, the way & the light. And don’t forget that it’s me & through my precious son Jesus Christ you’re blessed with this life. Now cry…”

Only a few hours old and I let out a scream. My mother tried to comfort me and the nurses told her to feed. But his gift to me was one that brought the tears to my eyes. At only a few hours old, I cried thankful for my gift of life. I said to him, “Lord thank you. And as long as I live, I will always know there is only one you. I want to thank you for taking the time to perfect me. They say that no one is perfect but every time I look in the mirror…I see it directly. You make no mistakes. Everything is perfect that you create. I am your child. A child of God. You are my father. Doubting you will be a hard job. You see, you are faithful, kind, gentle and your love is unconditional. No matter my troubles, you’re always near me so…I don’t have to worry and yes, times may even get scary. And I may start to wonder but I know. That as long as I’m walking this road I am not alone. As you place me in my mothers arms and the world becomes my playground and my mother becomes my teacher. And when the rain comes pouring down…I know I can call if I need you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so very much. There is nothing like a father’s love. God, I love you!”

Written by: Leukemiona Daniels 2010

Hurting

I waitd patiently 4 u to say sumtin n u didnt. Wntng me to pay that no attn but I knew it all so well. U going to hell. Close my mouth n lose my visions. Put my heart and pain n detention 4 their feelings but I cant. A mthr u shld b but u aint. The woman who raised me, not true 2 her name. Ur luv is not worthy. U ignor...ed that he hurt me. Cuz u luv him n thats final. Im not n denial so phuk u. Leave me. How cld u?

copywritten.2009.Leukemiona Daniels

Trust & Believe

U think Im gon sit here n listen to this shyt. Boy leave me alone. It was God who blessed us wit this house. U aint did a damn thing on yo own. Tryn to put me down n throw yo money all up in my face. But God bless me in the exact same way. U r no better than me, no different than I am. And God is the only man around here wearing the Kings crown. (Trust & Believe)

copywritten.2009.Leukemiona Daniels

Teacher's

My child comes to class er' day to learn. Got his learning tools and er' thang he needs to succeed. But it's a damn shame I can't trust u. Didn't think that u would do such a phuk'd up thing. U got to b some ol' sick as bytch. My phukn son is only 13.

copywritten.2009.Leukemiona Daniels

Told

I b playn but Im jus sayn u cant b forreal. U tryn to make sure she know, but let the truth b told, u the only one who really dont know the deal. Nicca's b frontn, fakn like they luvn and slow bytchs fall for that shyt. The things we will do, to show n prove that we the only one ridn the dick. At least thats wut it see......ms, but hate to kill yo dream. Wut u think it is...ain't it!

copywritten.2009.Leukemiona Daniels