Faith Test!!!

So, my kids have been home for about two weeks now. Things have been going really great for us. I've been working really hard because I'm a independent contractor and I work from home so I have to stay motivated.

I knew that I would be getting paid this week so I took the money that I had left from last pp's check and bought some food to last and a few household items. For some reason it didn't work that way. So the kids are saying, "Mother... we're getting low on food." I'm steady reminding them that I'm getting paid so we're going to be all good. My son is 15 so he has an apetite. But it's not just him, it's my girls too.

A few days ago I noticed we had a bag of beans, cornbread, tuna helper, a few can goods, kool-aid, tea, some bread & a few pieces of cheese. I'm like okay that'll hold us until I get paid. There was a knock at the dooor that day and it was my homegirls brother and he said, "what's up?" I let him know that I was working and the kids were playing. He asked if we wanted to go to CiCi's pizza and to the zoo. I told him that we wouldn't be able to make it because I was working. We started talking about the situation and he said, "order up some pizza and I'll pay for it." At that time I didn't realize that-that was saving us a day on food but I'm still thinking we all good.

That night as I laid down to sleep I said, "God I want to thank you for providing me & my kids with food to eat each and every day. I want to thank you for taking care of our needs. In Jesus name I pray."

Now during all this I lose my debit card which had money on it. Well I didn't notice until I got up to go to the store and get some sugar to make tea. Digging thru everything I seem to come up on almost $6 worth of change. I'm like, "thank you God." So the days pass and finally it's Sunday (yesterday) and when I looked in the cabinet there was nothing there but tea, a few packs of kool-aid and a bag of brown beans. The kids hate beans... and I know that's a strong word but they hate them. I told them to be thankful for what we have because they are very blessed to have that. My son looked in the cabinet and was like, "mom I found a can of chili please put it in the beans." I did and they ate those beans like they were going out of style.

So this morning we wake up to nothing. The kids are like what are we going to eat. I came to the kitchen and there was 4 bags of Ramen Noodles on the fridge. I said, "hey there's a bag of noodles for each of us on the fridge." They seemed to have their mouth out a little like dang that's all we have to eat. But again I reminded them that what we had was a lot compared to alot of people. Told them that, that wasn't all we had to eat because God will feed us every single day.

My girls are enrolled in camp so they went there and were able to eat lunch and a snack. My son is able to go up there aound 11:30a to eat lunch too but he's so worried about me he goes, "I'm cool mom. If you don't eat, I don't eat." I'm telling him to go eat lunch but he's still saying, "I don't have to eat mom if you don't." I'm telling him not to worry about me I'll be okay. He looks and me and says, "So will I." I let it go. Me and my son stayed home and the day went really well. Neither of us mentioned food but I called a few people to help me out. I really hate to ask my family even though I know they'll be glad to help us but I don't like them worrying too much. I ended up calling my sister today and she ordered pizza and had it delivered to us. She told me to make sure to call her if we needed her to order more tomorrow if my check didn't come. Being that my family is 4 hrs away from me I know it bothers them. But I know God is good all the time and He'll always be there for me. I've kinda learned to not stress too much-just pray. Sometimes that can be hard but it's always the best practice.

You know I must say that often I lose my faith in God. I know that all things are made possible thru He but when I'm going thru things it's just hard to focus on that. I do stress when I know I shouldn't but I'm really starting to trust Him more. I let my situation distract me when I should know that it's only temporary. I'm always praying to God about my needs when I need to thank him more. It was not too long ago that I talked to God letting Him know that I'm going to put my faith in him.. and this is one of many. My Faith Test!