In Memory of Jerrod "Robo" Shoals

Robo Shoals, my favorite cousin, passed in November 2008. Me and my cousin were best friends's. I miss him so very much. I can't believe it's almost been a year now. I wrote a poem to him that is very dear to my heart. I love him so much.

This is very hard for me but something I had to do. To express my deepest feelings of the love that I have for you. Last week when I got your phone call, you asked if I could come pick you up. We laughed for a moment and you expressed how you felt about leaving Oklahoma and I agreed by saying, "That's wuts ups." Your last words were, "I love you cuz and I'll be waiting on you." And they replay in my mind every moment that I think of you. At the moment I heard about your death I began to question God about why your life had to end. I wanted to know how someone could take away my cousin, the one I love… my best friend. It's crazy how one could be here and then the next minute they're gone. The fact that you're not physically present makes my life seem so wrong. We are extremely close and no one understands that but me and you. Your smile is a constant memory that plays in my head through and through. Shoals you remember me and the kids coming to see you at the Avalon? You a mess and you know it. You always had my back no matter what and you weren't afraid to let anyone know it. "This Shala ya'll", you would say, "This is cuz. This my baby." We stayed in touch no matter what… so you not being here is driving me crazy. Those daily phone calls, talking about our problems and thinking of a master plan. "You know me cuz I'm get down through there," is all I hear you saying. So loving, concerned and a friend you really are. I just knew that when I left Oklahoma you would be in the passenger seat of my car. But you know God has a purpose for everyone… everyone who is born must die. I know this… it only hurts cause you're family and that's the reason that I question Him why. I know you're in good hands now looking down on me, praying for me every moment of the day. Saying to your fellow angels above, "That's cuz. That's my baby, Shala."
Dear God, my cousin Robo is no longer here on earth… He's home residing with you. I ask that you take care of him and also that you see me through. Cause the pain of losing a loved one hurts deep within and it takes time to heal. I just ask that you comfort me and wrap us with your love and protection if you will. It just seems so hard to comprehend that he is no longer with me although I see his body lying here. Just give me guidance and the strength to move on and one day dry my falling tears. On you God I call, because on you I can depend. In your son Jesus name, Amen.